The Danger of Aging Drivers. Signs Your Senior May be too old to Drive.

There's no way around the fact that a senior having to give up their drivers license is often far harder than we understand. Talking to your parent or loved one about giving up driving is a sensitive topic. Just imagine if you were no longer able to go anywhere you wanted to.  Being able to drive allows our seniors to stay independent but sometimes it is best for all involved to take away the keys. Be diligent and look for tale tail signs that driving may have become dangerous.

To get a clear picture of your seniors driving ability, take a ride with them.

·        Are they speeding?

·        Tailgating?

·        Reacting slowly?  

·        Swerving?

·        Hitting curbs?

·        Are they unable to park straight in a designated parking space?

·         Do they have difficulty in turning their head, neck, or body while driving or parking?

·        Do not have enough strength to turn the wheel quickly in case of an emergency?

·        Become angry and frustrated easily while driving?

·        Do they fail to yield to pedestrians or motorists who have right of the way?

·        Do they get lost in familiar neighborhoods?

·        Do they find it difficult to drive with glare from oncoming vehicles or other bright or shiny objects?

·        Are there unexplained dents or damage to their vehicle?

       All of the above are signs it may be time to stop driving.

Poor muscle strength makes it difficult to maneuver and steer the steering wheel. Slower reflexes can cause slower time to react to pedestrians or traffic signs. Side effects from medication may cause sleepiness or confusion while driving and loss of clarity, vision or hearing due to aging.

 If you have concerns about an older adult's driving address this topic quickly. If not addressed, it could be a matter of life and death.  It is a touchy topic to talk about but think how you'd feel if your procrastination ended an automobile accident that resulted in injury or death

Sadly, when it’s time to park the car it can be very traumatic. For some seniors, they made need time to grieve the loss independence.  If it’s time to take away the keys, be ready to support your loved one and be involved in solutions for transportation.

Don’t push them into to selling their car if they are not ready, keeping the car will allow time to let go of the idea of driving and when it is time to sell he or she will be ready.

Help find other resources for transportation.  Prepare a list for your senior that is in large bold and easy to read. Keep in mind in severe circumstances such as Alzheimer’s, dementia, traffic accidents or tickets you may have to make an executive decision.

Considering the possible outcome should help you overcome your hesitation -- but that doesn't mean it will be easy. It's awkward and painful to have to inform older adults that they aren't capable of doing something as basic and essential as driving the car. For them, it's another humiliating reminder of their growing inability to take care of themselves and manage the tasks of daily life.

As difficult as it is, if you have reason to believe that the person in your care could be dangerous behind the wheel, it's important to deal with the issue sooner rather than later -- because later could be too late.

When you introduce the subject, don’t come on too strong, instead listen carefully to objections. You may feel a sense of urgency, but be tactful, you senior likely knows it is time to give up driving. Remember, that if you've noticed that their driving has grown messy, they are noticing it too.

Don’t dictate! Be helpful and work through any concerns. Initiate a conversation with a question such as “how are you doing with driving? Are you struggling at all? How is your vision at night?

It is unlikely a single discussion will solve the issue. Think of your first discussion as a precursor to a final decision that may require many more conversations. Be respectful of his or her right to make their decision. Allow time for a lengthy conversation. Your senior may begin a trip down memory lane of days gone by when driving was not an issue. Reliving memories may help them come to grips with this huge transition.

If your loved one is throwing up reasons why they can’t stop driving, listen and support their concerns, discuss the source of the problem. If night driving is the issue, suggest they limit driving during today time hours. If they insist on driving at night, suggest a refresher course through AAA or AARP driving school. Then, revisit the conversation at an agreed upon time.

Here are a few ways you can help your loved one stop driving.

1.      Check in on them often. Just to chat.

ff     Offer to drive them to the activities they enjoy -- or help them find someone else who can take them.

3.     See that they're included in family outings, like their grandchildren's school events or a day at the beach

.        Help them to create new routines, like walking or gardening. 

If your senior refuses to quit driving, the solution may be to suggest a visit to their family doctor who can perform a medical evaluation, and if warranted, “prescribe” that she stops driving. Older people will often listen to their doctor before they will listen to their own family.
 
If she still refuses, contact your local Department of Motor Vehicles to see if they can help. Or, call in an attorney to discuss with your mom the potential financial and legal consequences of a crash or injury. If all else fails, you may just have to take away her keys.